These are the Secondary One quotes that I'm putting up since Guo Xin requested for more. (If you count "more!" as a request...) Anyway, Chapter 11 should be done soon! Promise! Maybe I'll finish it before Lester returns from his random vacation island. Oh well, voila. Dates missing since I didn't bother to take down dates in Secondary One. But as always in chronological order, those who come first naturally were recorded first.

Mrs Jaya: I can talk to some fools sometimes, but not to all fools all the time.

Random 1F student: (Insert incorrect answer here)
Mrs Jaya: So? What's the problem with you? Sit down!

Mrs Teo CC: (Insert name here) is too good a name for you, idiot will be better.

Random 1C student: What?
Mrs Teo CC: How dare you "what" me!

Mrs Jaya: I'll spice up everything that we've done in class.

Mrs Jaya: Are you talking Marcus, or am I imagining?

Mrs Jaya: If you don't understand the words "shut up", you might as well sit in the Chinese class because you don't understand simple English!

Mrs Jaya: If you don't do well, it's your funeral.

Zhi Hao: Teacher, what about me?
Mrs Chu: You don't need to ask so much, you fail.

Miss Clarinda Choh: I don't want disappearing socks.

Mrs Khoo: Can you please shut your damn mouth!

Miss Clarinda Choh: Your behaviour just now was appalling! If you don't know what appalling means, it means terrible! If you don't know what terrible means, it means bad, very bad!

Mr Alvin Tan: Worksheet - A sheet used to work

Mrs Teo CC: I give you one mark (OP) in hope that you'll open your golden mouth but instead you don't even pay attention in my class!

Miss Clarinda Choh: When someone comes up to make an announcement, you remain silent and not clap like stupid monkeys!

Mrs Mok: Sean Lim (Zi Qing), stop bobbing up and down like a bobbing apple.

Mrs Khoo: Don't say I don't like you arh, I really don't like you lor!

Mrs Khoo on Dennis: He is a boy meh?

Mrs Jaya: I don't want to shout at the top of my lungs and die!

Mrs Jaya: I don't want you to act as if you are a bozo, as if you are deranged.

Mrs Jaya: No! Do not make lying a career!

*Sean Lim Zi Qing laughing his usual demented laugh*
Mrs Jaya: I don't understand why you get so worked up about the word "nudity". You mean you bathe with your clothes on? Unless you are aroused by Josh or you are a downright pervert!

Mrs Jaya: This shows my memory is good although I'm aged.

*Zhi Hao plus other idiots groaning*
Mrs Jaya: I love gorillas but I hate to say you sound like one.

Mrs Jaya: Should I catch you doing other work, I'll take it, tear it, make you eat it.

Mrs Jaya: Frankly, as a woman, I feel insulted. This is a total outrage of my modesty!

*Guo Xin not paying attention*
Mrs Jaya: Have you been influenced by the skin there?

*Some fools clapping for no apparent reason*
Mrs Jaya: I think seals are beautiful animals but you are not one.

Mrs Jaya addressing the class: For the next five minutes, I want the class to be absolutely silent. Shock me.

Mrs Jaya: Where are your brains? Are you sitting on them?

Josh: (Insert obscene remark here)
Mrs Jaya: Can you not colour my mind?

Nicholas Koh: (Insert randome reading here)
Mrs Jaya: You're speaking like some gay!

Mrs Khoo: Don't talk like old man with denture in the mouth!

Nicholas Koh: What is the punishment?
Mr Lim CC: You can try.

Mrs Chu going through test in laboratory: Whoever got question 1 wrong can jump down from here.
Jun Xiang: *Gasps loudly*
Mrs Chu: Don't worry, we won't cry for you.

Mrs Jaya: Don't talk! If you breathe loudly, I will minus your mark!

Mrs Jaya: I don't know where the devil you fellas got this idea. Don't torture me with it!

Sean Lim Zi Qing: What if the teacher doesn't like me?
Mrs Jaya: If she thinks you're an irritating specimen, she'll kick you out.

*Mrs Jaya just explains SCAMPER writing with the handout she handed out*
Random idiot at the front (Most probably Nicholas Koh or Josh: What is SCAMPER?
Mrs Jaya: Are you blind? Then it must be stupidity...*Pretends to contemplate*Hmm... Which is it?

Dennis: What's Rapunzel?
Mrs Jaya: What a pathetic childhood you have.

Mrs Jaya: Are you doing your work, talking or looking at your glue?

*Marcus and random fool babbling about World Cup*
Jiasheng: Do you know World Cup rhymes with Shut up?

Mrs Jaya: Your sheer stupidity infuriates me!

Mrs Jaya: Josh, go to the back of the class! I don't want to see your face or hear your voice for the rest of the year! Every time when it's my class you go to the back. I don't care what you do there...You can do anything you want! Destroy yourself! Anything! I'm sick of two people in this class...There's a chair and a table there!"

Mrs Jaya scolding Zhi Hao: I know I'm discriminating you, but doesn't matter to me.

Mrs Khoo: You must pretend, pretend to listen...Like me, I'm pretending to teach well.

Mrs Jaya: If I see you talking or showing your friend something, I will take that something and maybe...Cut it!

Mrs Jaya: Josh is a rich kid so he can go anywhere even if he doesn't do well. But if you think you're not as rich as him, you jolly well pay attention!

Josh: Can you let us off ten seconds early?
Mrs Jaya: That depends on the one asking. If my pets ask, then maybe I'll agree.

Miss Clarinda Choh: If you think using "lah is a I'm-in-with-the-crowd thing, I think you have pretty pathetic articulation!

Mrs Khoo: 做人不要太过分! 不然就不要做!

Mrs Khoo: Sometimes common sense is not common.

Mrs Khoo: This is so simple and I already explain. If you still don't know and "huh", "huh", "huh", you can go and die!

Mrs Jaya: Enough talking to the paper, talk to the class!

Dennis: Wah Mrs Jaya, how can you call them idiots?
Mrs Jaya: What? They're really a bunch of idiots right? What should I call them? Intelligent souls? I will use intelligent souls only if the meaning of the two words are changed!

Mrs Jaya on Sean Lim Zi Qing: Ah, now we have some one with a pathetic social life.

Sean Lim Zi Qing: (Insert senseless question here)
Mrs Jaya: Which part of your sentence am I suppose to laugh at? The full stop or the capital letter?

*During discussion of skit*
Guo Xin: Are you the taxi or the driver?

Mrs Jaya: If I catch you reading your Newpaper, I'll make sure you wrap it around yourself.

Mrs Jaya: Talk again and you'll be standing on other objects!

Mrs Khoo on those who disrupt her lesson: I've been finding a word to describe people like them...I think they're like suicide bombers..They have no regard for not even their own Mathematics but others'!

Mr Melvin Chng: You have the balls to laugh but you don't have the balls to stand up?

Mr Melvin Chng: I don't know why I have to stop everytime. Unless you have a medical condition whereby you'll drop dead once you stop talking, I suggest you make the process much easier by shutting your big fat mouth!

Mrs Chu: Many cells make up a tissue. Many tissues working together will make up-
1E guy: A box of tissues.

Bradley: Why are you pissed off? Which piece of you drop off?

*Josh being himself, id est, molesting others*
Jiasheng: Don't touch me you repulsive creature!

Mrs Khoo: Shade which part?
Si Heng: Shade everything except the shaded part.

Mrs Khoo: You everything don't know but everything also want to know!

Me:Why do you get 24/40 even when you study?
Kester: Because I study!

Mrs Jaya: Marcus, are you possessed or something?

Mr Alvin Tan: Did I leave any papers behind?
Mrs Jaya: Nothing except for the cloth over there.

Mrs Jaya's proposal after Marcus tore off a quarter of Guang Yan's worksheet: Guang Yan! Go tear Marcus' paper! The next time I'll give you Marcus' paper and you can spit or stamp on it or anything you want.

Zhi Hao: I'll buy my own album because no one buy mine.

Mrs Chu: Josh, what did I say? Body parallel to the table!

Nicholas Koh: Can I go toilet?
Mrs Jaya: Why are you always going to the toilet? Unless you'll die, then you go. Otherwise, you stay in your seat!

Mrs Jaya returning Nicholas Koh his nameless worksheet: You better write your name because I can't just feel and know it's you. I don't have that kind of powers.

Yau Xuan: Mrs Jaya-
Mrs Jaya: My common sense tells me you're wrong.

Mrs Jaya: The board is here not on his face!

Jun Xiang: Teacher, I also don't have a mark!
Mrs Jaya: Because I think it's pointless.

Mrs Jaya giving a model answer on functional writing magazine article topic "Why teachers refuse to teach rotten idiots like Josh": It's the length of intelligence really. No matter how you try, they never listen because their brains are not functional and are left there to rot.

Mrs Jaya wishing the class luck the lesson before the exam: For those who worked hard, good luck and all the best. But for the three annoying kids, you can rot for all I care.

That's all for now!

Firstly, sorry for delaying Chapter 11 (And still delaying) for so long. Yes, I know, Fang's been hounding me. Don't blame me, put the blame on my surroundings and Dota (Defense Of The Ancients or rather Dummies Operating Tiny Avatars). I don't know...But somehow I'm not emo enough...I'm trying to feel sad but I can't. So anyway, I was looking through some old notes when I found my Secondary Two quote list. This year's teachers weren't so entertaining because of the loss of Mrs Jaya (Oh Great One! Hail her acetic tongue!) so I only took down quotes up to the end of Term 2 before I stopped. But hey, why not post? And I'm going to do just that. According to date although I didn't take down the dates of some. Anyway, this post's purpose is to distract you and buy me more time to write Chapter 11 (Yes sorry again but I'm halfway there)

4th January

Mrs Khoo: Listen to old people...
*Class stares at her*
*She hastily realised she was implying that she was old*
Mrs Khoo: Listen to older people.

5th January

Miss Quah: No swearing on your private part (Yes she said that many times but this was the first)

5th January

Sean Lim Zi Qing: *Insert crappy answer here*
Miss Ting: It's not wrong, it's just incorrect.

8th January

Miss Quah (Referring to sudoku): "Don't do the suku (Hokkien) thing!

11th January

Wei Ze: Knowledge based I'm not the best. Height based I'm the best.

16th January

Jian Yi: Sean, I need to borrow two of your hands, one to pick this, one to pick that.

17th January

Miss Clarinda Choh: I don't need unneccesary redundancies.

18th January

Mrs Khoo lamenting about her pay: Money and Work is always an inequality, never an equation.

18th January

Miss Ting posing question to class: What's th right side of the brain engaged in?
Sean being retarded: Nothing
Miss Ting: That's for you right? (So true)

19th January

Miss Quah: I see no value in you Zhi Hao. (But there is! Seriously, Zhi Hao just needs to have faith. And my blessing aura of course muhaha)

1st February

Miss Ting: Sean, why are you sitting own? Can you not see that the queen is here?

4th February

Jian Yi: Hairy is the new hairless! (No idea what it means...But it is Jian Yi here that we're talking about)

10th February

Miss Quah reprimanding Josh at beach cleanup: I'm going to sue you for my poor health! (Or rather the noxious fumes at the beach aggravated her condition)

14th February

Zhi Hao: I'm perfect.
Mrs Khoo: If you're perfect, we're all angels and you'll be the worst.

15th February

Me being jealous: I'll see you die in the army.
Guo Xin being...himself: I'll just seduce the female general.

Unknown date

Mr. Tan Guan Chye: 如果Yuan Yi(Josh)回头一笑, 我们全部就跑掉了.

26th February

Miss Quah threatening Dennis: Otherwise you shave your head!
Dennis: I don't mind shaving my head.

Unknown date

Dennis complaining: Mrs Khoo, you take my pencil.
Mrs Khoo: Ok lah, you take my pen.
Dennis: It's a marker.
Mrs Khoo: Ok lah, you take my marker or you can take Marcus, plural.

20th March

Miss Quah: Or better still, go to the highest building and jump down.

22nd March

Mr. Charles Low: Josh, still a pervert.

22nd March

Miss Quah giving Josh recognition: If I were to nominate the first-class moron in Hwa Chong, I would nominate you.

23rd March

Mrs Khoo on Miss Teo CM: A woman who is thirsty, hungry, needs to empty her bowels and missed her bus. (You couldn't have put it better and the class couldn't agree more)

23rd March

Mrs Loi: So you go home and ask your little brother and sister how to use a ruler.

29th March

Miss Ting during Biology paper check: I feel so sorry for you because your sperm count is so low. Some of you only have 5 million sperms or even 5000 sperms per ejaculation.

10th April

Zhi Hao on working with me and Sean Lim Zi Qing: I look forward to working with you and Sean. Sean give idea. You type out in English. I serve you all drinks.

13th April

Sean Lim Zi Qing: You break my heart leh!
Mrs Khoo: You have a heart?

21st May

Mrs Khoo: You think I'm the Aladdin lamp arh? Rub rub then all your wishes come true!

21st May

Mrs Khoo speaking to Jun Xiang: You don't have a future.
Zhi Hao: What about me?
Mrs Khoo: You're outside the intensive care unit, you're just visiting.



That pretty sums up what's in the list. Till Chapter 11.